26th April 2017

                                             Body - 5 Senses                                CONSCIOUSNESS                             Emotions

               Mind +Body                                                     Emotions             Thoughts                            Body - 5 Senses  

                                             EXPERIENCE – Thoughts                CONSCIOUSNESS                                                          

Emotions                                           Mind +Body                                                     Mind +Body

                              CONSCIOUSNESS                             Body - 5 Senses                 EXPERIENCE – Thoughts                             

The self.               Mind +Body        Emotions              Consciousness              Mind+Body     Experience

In order to be SELF you need a thinking mind, a mind that holds your experiences and emotions, your conscious mind.

In order to be SELF you need a body. Most would say, you need your body in-order to make use of your five senses- Smell, touch, hearing, seeing and taste. Not true, if you didn’t have one, two or any of these senses you would still be you, just without the ability to use these senses.

So to be self, a mind + body is needed.


Having established that the self is consciousness or your mind. Also that the body – Whether that is a tall, short, thin, over weight or under weight (according to the BMI Calculator), able-bodied or one with a physical disability, male or female leads us to the conclusion that the self is YOU. So SELF = YOU

Now, that is YOU without the labels that you and others have attached . Just the SELF that equals YOU.

Not the you, that your friends and family members know.

Not the you, your work colleagues know.

Not the you the shop keeper or coffee shop cashier knows.

Not even the you, your parents know.

This you is SELF = YOU. Stay with that thought for a moment. I tried to get you to stand alone in the ‘What's in your Bubble’ when I asked you to stand outside your bubble filled with all the things you think about each day, but some of you found it a little scary, standing there without the label of friend, parent, sibling and work colleague. Now you’ve graduated with the ability to do just that as you have come to the realisation that    SELF =YOU

You, the self, has many different selves. As you go through your day, you morph into a different you. Lets start with the morning you. Some of you are jolly and talkative, some of you are quiet and resevered. I am the quiet type. It takes at least an hour for my face to adjust and look somewhat ‘normal’. Some of us even have a morning voice, which disappears after we have brushed our teeth and had a hot beverage. How you are in the morning? You are certainty not the same you when you leave the house.

Different you’s emerge as you encounter different situations throughout the day. I use to travel on the London underground to get to work, often the platform would be packed with people. One had to morph into a ruby player if you wanted a seat on the train, especially if you had a child with you.

Depending on whether you encountered anyone you know on the way to work, you then morph into work you. For me that was to give my best regardless of what was going on, be fair, approachable,  professional at all times becoming  firm should the occasion arise. What are you like at work?  Depending on who you encounter in your lunch break, you stay as work you until you arrive back home.Then the home you emerges. For some of us even a different language is spoken. The home you may have other labels attached, this could be parent, career, spouse/partner all forcing you to fulfill these roles. At this point the SELF=YOU that we talked about at the beginning of this blog is deep deep inside you, there is no light where that you is. But we will get back to that you in a little while. To continue your evening at home, the kids are fed, bathed and put to bed. It is here a tried different you emerges, you still carry your labels but you can relax a little. Depending on your household dynamics, this may be a relaxed you. A you that may take a bath, relax with a glass of wine, watch your favourite TV programme or do whatever calms you. You go to bed and it’s morning you again.

Lets add  the you, you become when you are out with your work  mates, friends or family members. Depending on which set of friends or family members you are out with, will determine which you you take out.

I have counted 7 different you’s so far:

1)      YOU – Is SELF=YOU

2)      YOU – Morning you

3)      YOU – Leave house you

4)      YOU – At work you

5)      YOU – Back at home you

6)      YOU – Relaxed you

7)      YOU – Out with friends and family you

Wow that is seven different types of you, some with labels attached, some like the morning you that even displays a different face !

Deepak Chopra states in his ‘Book of Secrets’ (2004) Secret #13 Get the e-book and audio here FREE

‘When you go home for Thanksgiving, you probably find yourself falling automatically into the role of the child you once were. At work, you play a different role than when you go on vacation. Our minds are so good at storing totally conflicting roles that even small children know how to switch smoothly from one to the other. When candid cameras are set up to catch three-year-old's at play without adults around, parents are often shocked by the transformations they see before their eyes: The sweet, obedient, conciliatory child they knew at home can turn into a raging bully ‘ . He goes on to say that ‘The real you is detached from any role, any scenery [or] any drama’.

Do you ever seek number one SELF=YOU in all that noise of the different you’s running around?  For those of you that meditate, you regularly seek number one SELF=YOU. Have you considered looking for number one SELF=YOU?  you can only find SELF=YOU by quieting and throwing off the labels attached to you.

Labels you give yourself

Labels society has given you

Labels your friends and family have given you. For a few minutes...If you can.....Find SELF=YOU.

To help, this is what you do.

Sit in a quiet room, with no distractions try and block out the noise of your environment. Next doors telly, the dog down the road, the sounds of cars driving by and perhaps concentrate on your breathing. Breath in............ Breath out Do this 15 times – trying to concentrate on the sound of your breath.

After this, just be – sitting still and quieting the world around you.

In doing that exercise, you are throwing off the labels that are attached to you and for the 10 minutes you take to quiet yourself, you are being =YOU.

I can no longer consider living in an environment that forces me to wear my labels all the time. When was the last time you took off all your labels?

As parents we will be parents until we die. That is one label I gladly wear. I wear it with Honor, pride and gratitude. However if going out with friends or family is the only time, you leave that label on the kitchen table before you leave the house on a night out, you are doing yourself a dis-service. I believe that I can be the best mum I can be if I am allowed to be me or SELF every now and then. I say this after coming off the phone with one of my children, who felt I could keep her company for 35 minutes while she wait for a bus to arrive. All the labels we have attached to ourselves, can easily take over our lives if we don’t stop for a minute and find SELF = YOU

For some, being in a room with just self, having taken off all the labels, will be uncomfortable, it may feel as though you are being striped bare.  especially if you have never considered this concept, but rest assured it will get easier to do if done regularly.  Some may realize that they are all the labels attached to them, and cannot consider being without them, even for 10 minutes.  Others may find it hard to take off certain labels believing that LABEL + SELF = YOU

Some may not like the SELF =YOU that emerges once quiet, and would rather wear some or all the labels attached

If you have managed to read this far, in this blog. The work can begin. The SELF= YOU If you are meeting the SELF= you for the first time, will need to be nurtured, fed and brought up to fruition.

In order to nurture the SELF = YOU, you will have to find SELF = YOU often. Remember the breathing exercise? You will need to get quite often. It is an opportunity to get to know SELF = YOU. Like seeing your baby for the first time, or bringing home a new pet, you spend as much time as you can with your baby or new pet as possible. You care for this new SELF = YOU. Tell me what this SELF=YOU without lables,  feels like Depending on how often and how comfortable you feel getting to know SELF = YOU . Your SELF=YOU turns into toddler, like  a toddler, they can amuse themselves while you watch.  

What does that mean for you? It means that you may not have to spend as much time getting quiet for the SELF=YOU to emerge. You will begin to feel comfortable with SELF=YOU in your own space with no labels attached. 

The child stage of SELF = YOU, has your SELF=YOU walking along side you. SELF=YOU is no longer at the place you go to in your quite time, you don’t have to conjure up SELF=YOU in your ‘me time’ away from the hassle and bustle of a day. You will become aware that SELF=YOU is with you. A little spooky I know, stay with me....Once you understand that the SELF=YOU is with you all the time, your  SELF=YOU moves unto the teenage stage. Rebellion or what!!! The SELF=YOU not only walks with you, but decides what it won’t do from what it will do. SELF=YOU gets it’s VOICE. This SELF=YOU that you have spent time nurturing, feeding , taking out for walks now has a say. SELF=YOU will begin to question certain aspects of your life, there will be rules, there will be things people can and can no longer do to  or ask you to do. The teenager SELF=YOU won’t allow it. At this stage, certain people will still be getting away with behaviours towards you that you do not like, but as SELF=YOU isn’t grown. It’s hard to dis allow it. Here you are still allowing some people in your life to dis-respect you, treat you badly and even use you. The ‘bad’ behaviour you allow is easy, because you are not treating yourself or SELF=YOU with as much respect as it needs, it’s only a teenager after all, it is not a grown adult. I say that with tongue in cheek. Remember me telling you how badly I would treat my body, running from one job to the next, allowing managers and colleagues to treat me terribly, in the name of trying to follow a career? Remember that one manager I had, who treated me like a five year old? My SELF=YOU was a teenager then. At this stage you are aware that certain behaviours towards you is not right, but you appear powerless to do anything about them. You tend not to rock the boat at this stage, leaving things as they are, hoping things will get better. Teenage self esteem is easily dampen, so you bow your head and walk on. There is no whistle blower in you, if it an’t right, someone else will notice. This may be what you think, but deep down inside, you are not happy. You are not happy with the way you are being treated. You are not happy with what you see going on in your personal life as well as your work life. The teenage SELF=YOU doesn’t  miss a trick, they are aware of most things. It becomes a `don’t feel quiet right’  thing with you now, you begin to sense when things are not the way they should be or a little `off’ . It’s that quieting yourself and going within, that’s done it. Friends, colleagues and family members will begin to see a change in you, as you begin to voice your opinion on certain things, you are changing, you are beginning to value SELF=YOU more. Your self worth has grown up, just a tad. The more you allow your new teenage SELF=YOU to emerge the more people around you will change. Have you heard the saying `you can’t change people, you have to change you’? Look around you, people teach you how to treat them. If you have a friend who, although s/he is an adult, acts like a child, you will find that someone in the group (if it’s not you) acts like the guardian for that person? Or  you’ll have someone who decides where you are all going for the night out, s/he arranges this or that, you all just go along with it, following behind like little ducklings. That person taught you that they are the boss, and the child-friend taught you that you all need to look after him/her.

Back to the teenage SELF=YOU People around you will accommodate the changing you. Why? Because we teach people how to treat us. Your teenage  SELF=YOU will begin to contemplate life, you will begin to blogs, you start realising that there has got to be more to life than what you are doing. You may begin to withdraw from people who try to pull you back to your old ways. For me that was work like a dog and say nothing of the way I and others were being treated. I also use to give my ALL , sometimes leaving myself with little or none. That could be time, money or energy. I use to put up with things that today, those people who use to take from me, wouldn’t dare ask, and no, it doesn’t always come with age!

As you grow your SELF=YOU becomes an adult. Here you merge into your SELF=YOU and stand for something. Here you have taught people how to treat you, you no longer worry about rocking the boat, if you are anything like me, you’ve rocked the boat and tipped it upside down. You will begin to take a chance in life, seeing if the grass is greener on the other side. 

No longer will you put up and shut up. You give SELF=YOU It’s own price tag. [NO CRAP HERE] It does not matter what age you arrive here, you will begin to live your life on your terms, and all who are with you will stay. All those who are not will go. This may cause you to shed a tear, but you won’t be grabbing them back. If you did, you wouldn’t be able to live with your new adult SELF=YOU as it would be incongruent to how you live your life now.

Please bear in mind, this includes everybody in your life. Your children, as always will try and push boundaries but, as you now know where the line starts and ends. Your new SELF=YOU will not stand for it, and will take steps to correct their behaviour.

The Adult  SELF=YOU knows and feels when something is not right in any environment you enter, this SELF=YOU will no longer stand for situations that disrupt your equilibrium, if it don’t feel right you will try to change the situation or leave. It’s as simple as that. Here’s an example. You are in a meeting, what the speaker is saying goes against what you believe is right, appropriate or relevant. Good manners may permit you to remain until the end, if it does not, your adult SELF=YOU will leave. You may also follow that up with letting the relevant person in charge of the event, know that you did not agree with what had been said. Your adult SELF=YOU will not allow you to sit down and shut up. This adult SELF=YOU has no time for lightly treading. At this stage you are in pursuit of your passion, if you have not already found it. You then shift, maneuver your life, some of which will come kicking and screaming to where you are able to follow your passion. You at last realise that a SELF=YOU that follows their passion is a calmer, nicer SELF=YOU. A SELF=YOU that makes time for the important people in their lives. There is no more, working late at the office or over the weekend to get the bosses proposal done. If it cannot be done within the working hours you set, or the allocated time , the work has to wait or be given to someone else. This Adult SELF=YOU aims to live a life in service to others. Remember your passion is always some thing you do for others. This adult SELF=YOU lives life on your terms.

Right, with that said, where are you on this journey? Have you acknowledged or agreed that consciousness + Body = Self and that you protray different selves depending on your environment. We counted at least 7 in one day, from Morning SELF to relaxing SELF. We noted that some labels will stay with us for a life time, Just left on the kitchen table for a night out while you be a different SELF=YOU. I asked you to be still how was it for you?

Can you bear to be still for ten minutes? Dropping off all the labels you , your family, your friends and society has attached to you?

Perhaps you can sit for ten minutes allowing only a few labels to be dropped. Let me know which ones you can easily let go of. It will tell you something about yourself.

Look over your life, have you just lived it as somebodies something? (Daughter, Son, Parent or Friend) Does your SELF=YOU get a look in? or is it buried underneath all the labels assigned to it? Deep I Know.

In this blog, you got to work seeking out the newborn SELF=YOU, toddler SELF=YOU when you got to the teenager SELF=YOU you began to speak. You spoke about what you will do, and what you won’t do, you felt when things were wrong, but was powerless to do anything about it. People began to change around you as you changed. They had no choice but to change. Then you met the adult SELF=YOU. This SELF=YOU is all you want to be. Setting boundaries in all aspects of your life. Living life on you terms, craving out your own space in your  household, and letting all around you know the new YOU that you intend to be. Here you began to seek out and follow your passion. Living life with purpose.

Where are you along this journey, take heart that you have at least started to realised your full potential and that you are heading in the right  direction.

I send you Love and wish that you live your life holistically.

Look Out For My Next Blog

The Tongue- What damage have you caused? 

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Love Live holistically .