love live holistically

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 KJV

What are you afraid of ?

Not having enough? Not being enough? Maybe your fear is around a person or people!

Whatever your fear, it conjures up the same feelings every-time. Have you considered how often you are in fear?

Fear is a feeling. One may feel fear for a multitude of reasons.

We are aware that once the body dictates fear it starts to produce hormones which will enable you to fight or run. Fear has its benefits as it is there to ensure we remain safe and or survive. When we look back on our lives, we may be able to remember the few times when being afraid served a purpose. Why then, is it so prevalent in our lives? Why do we conjure up or awaken our fear receptors when we are going to be late? Or when we feel we may have forgotten something? We do not act on every feeling or thought we have, so why do we become fearful of things that has not happened? We know by now, that if we think of a thing long enough we will bring it into existence. Most of the time when we evoke fear, it is often about a future perceived threat, a situation that was never going to happen. Parents are good at this, we will conjure up all types of scenarios when our teenager is late home. We pace the floor, waiting for a phone call to say that they are ok or have reached their destination.

In this blog, I will look at how often we allow fear to impede our life. The effects of reaching for fear instead of another form of ‘to do in the case of’!

In this blog I will not be talking about, (Please note this list is in no particular order) the fear my ancestors faced of being caught as runaway slaves, the fear some women face of being labelled an adulterer and stoned to death, or the others who faced being  branded a witch and brunt at the stake. I will not be talking about the fear many men and women felt and feel as they go to war or the many citizens who lived and live in war torn countries.

I will not talk about the fear many parents feel when they send their children to the shops or even off to school, as there is a great threat of violence from others or the people they see as the authority. Imagine hoping your children will return home alive and well! I will not talk about the fear some adults feel as they go to work to be bullied by peers or bosses, with thoughts of ‘I have no choice, but to remain in this job as the wage pays the bills for my house hold, plus helps my young relative go to school and my aging parent’. I will not speak of the spouse that dreads their partner coming home from work, hoping that they had had a ‘good’ day, because if that is not the case, the evening will be filled with hostility. I will not go into the fears of a child who loathe ‘night time’! Or the dog who cowers as its owner approaches.

What difference does it make between your life being threatened or you feel that you are going to fail the exam paper that is in-front of you? Your body reacts in the same way, in both situations.  If you have read my blog Patience notes in which notes are made about our hormones, Adrenaline, Norepinephrine, Cortisol and the part they play as we become frighten, scared, fearful or even worried. Have you considered how many times a day you put your body through a flood of hormones, all rushing through your blood stream all trying to help you fight or flee?

Do you put yourself through anxiety, rushing to get out the house in the morning. On the way to work, are hormones preparing you to ‘leg it’? Perhaps your levels are heightened during work or is it when you return home? I am not about to give you a scenario, but consider this. A few weeks ago I took a course, the pass mark was 70% as I sat looking at the first question, my stomach began to churn, I didn’t know the answer to the first question. I wasted time trying to get pass the first question, although we had all been told that we should go to the questions that we can answer and those that would generate a larger mark than the ones that carried 1 mark if answered correctly. I agonised over this first question as my OCD wouldn’t allow me to get past it without an answer. After writing something, I went on to the other questions, answering 20 of the 59 questions on the paper. Then the invigilator announces ‘You are at the half way point’ Jesus! I begin to feel physically sick, I became hot, my hands became sweaty. I just wanted to get up and leave the room. I felt I had failed and I was never going to get through the remaining questions on this paper, in the allotted time. My saving grace was a small voice in my ear saying ‘Just carry on’ so I turned the page and found that the questions there were multiple choice and quicker to answer. Needless to say I stayed until the end of the exam. The results would not be in until the next day and a chance to resit if you failed. At the end of the exam I wondered why I was putting myself through this torment, then realized that it was a means to an end and noted that if it was not meant to be, then God would have something better for my life. At that point I became somewhat calmer. The results came in and I passed at 80%. I am not suggesting that one compares the fear felt from running for your life to an exam invigilator stating you are at a half way point. However I know that my body was unable to distinguish between the two as it deplored the hormones that would enable me to ‘run’. The difference can be found in how you deal with each episode. For me, after the exam, my anxiety lessened but I stayed on high alert until the results were in, after which my body felt a sigh of relief. I felt tired, I felt as if I had been in a 10k race and had just passed the finish line. Thinking back on my exam experience I now feel calm, and I am sure it will not have any lasting effect or ill effect on my life.

How often do you put yourself through a 10k race? How often do you push your body into flight or fight mode? How do you feel after the event? And was it really worth it? What are your fears today? Blog@loveliveholistically.com You need to consider how often you invite fear into your life! Is it when you are rushing to leave the house or to catch the right train? Maybe it is when you worry about paying the bills or buy enough food. Perhaps it is when you think of how you are going to be viewed by others? Or even whether you will pass a test. Non of those? Maybe its something more serious, like where you are going to live if you get evicted? Or what will happen if your relationship with your partner breaks down. Do you realize that all the above have a GET OUT CLAUSE?....Here it is…….’I will do what I can in this situation, what I can not do, will have to play out how it plays out’. Do you believe this? Blog@loveliveholistically.com

Take the leaving the house on time, you can and should get up earlier. The train you have to catch would be waiting for you or you it, to arrive. For the bills you may have to read ‘Trust’ (www.loveliveholistically.com/trust.php) This we know works for evictions, relationships, bills and even exams. OK, if we know this, why do we not trust what we can change, and leave what we cannot to a higher force or the universe.

How much does fear play a part in your everyday life?

Do you realize that whilst fear is dominate in your life, you are not at your optimum, you are missing out on the gifts the universe wants to send you. Being bugged down with fear, you miss out on messages to enhance your life, you live in a world of what IF’S. What if this happens or what if that happens. When you live in fear you don’t see the world as God has intended you to see or live it.

Whilst in fear you allow it to become your GOD (too deep for you?) Blog@loveliveholistically.com Lets explore that. The belief in an entity or a God will take over your whole life, you obey its rules, your mind body and soul tells you what you are doing right or what you are doing wrong, in line with the rules. Here are the rules of fear. [You will either allow me to scare you or help you, sometimes I will use both]. Is that not your relationship with fear? We make fear our go to place when things are not working out well for us. We listen to it’s quiet small fear-voice that tells us what, when and how things are going to happen. This Fear-God will play out whole sad scenarios ending with our demise. Like most things, there are two parts to the entity we call Fear. The fear that is all great and good, gets you out of bad situations and saves your life. (The fear response serves survival by generating appropriate behavioural responses, so it has been preserved throughout evolution." –Wikipedia) Here, fear will use your intuition to tell you what to do and what not to do. This part of fear will push you to do things you have never done before e.g that interview for a job you know you did not have the qualifications for, but knew you could do it. This part of fear will push you to step off on faith and reap the rewards. This part of fear will guide you to a better you, you begin to face what you fear, realizing that the world will not stop spinning and you will be alright at the end of it, you emerge a stronger better equipped you. Remember that situation where you thought you would never cope? You copped! You are here reading this. That was fear pulling you through its motions (scare you to help you). You met fear on the way into the situation, you faced fear while you was in the situation and you came out of the situation leaving fear behind. Then there is the fear that will have you pacing the floor and playing out sad scenarios, whilst your body shuts off the need to sleep, eat or accept rational thoughts.(scaring you) Fear will always have you DOING something, being anxious springs to mind! Fear does not have you feeling peaceful or in a meditative state. Fear does not involve constantly being good to others. Fear is a selfish entity, fear is all about you.

Neale Donald Walsh (Author of Conversations with God) claims that fear is the energy which contracts, close down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards or harm. Think of all the many issues in the world, where fear has caused havoc! Why would you waste time allowing fear to dictate how you feel? What a way to live. Take control of your thoughts, fear is like a blanket, it will cover you if you let it. Notice when this blanket is overshadowing your thoughts, acknowledge that you are beginning to feel fearful and STOP IT. Dismiss the fearful thoughts and conjure up good scenarios to your situation, do not allow fear to gain momentum because it has a way of running away with your thoughts. Easy for me to say! I have been so bogged down by debt, that I believed that the bailiff would arrive at my house with the police and finding that I cannot pay the debt would take me away to prison. I could see my children crying and our lives falling apart. I have learnt that I must do what I can do about any situation, and leave the rest to God, the universe or higher force. I have realized that I am protected by God and he only wants the best for me. I know that everything happens for a reason, and with my best interest in mind. Please take control of your life. We all get down every now and then, there will always be situations that takes all your strength to get over. DO NOT let fear take over. Fear has it’s purpose and we should utilise its good part. Fear will always have you doing something, just be aware that when it has you playing out sad bad scenarios, you are to STOP IT, talk yourself out of this type of fear.

How prevalent is fear in your life? After reading this blog, have you become aware of the amount of time you put your body though the flight or fight routine? Blog@loveliveholistically.com Have you re-called the few times fear actually had a real purpose in your life?

One cannot help stressing about situations we sometimes find ourselves in, but to allow fear to develop momentum and engulf the situation is counter-productive. It is easy for someone to tell you to snap out of it, when it isn’t their child that is two hours late getting home. What I am suggesting is, do not be dragged along a pathway of bad scenarios. My bad scenario had me locked up in prison for non-payment of a tax bill. Nothing was further from the truth, no one was going to lock me up, they just wanted me to let them know when I would be able to pay the money I owed. I was even offered the option of instalments. Following fear down its spiral staircase to depression serves you no purpose. Fear is often followed like a Messiah, Buda or a God, listening to it’s small voice as it whispers one bad episode after another to a catastrophic outcome to your problem or situation. What you should be hearing are alarm bells and nothing else. It is at that point you should ground yourself, bring yourself back to reality, by telling yourself that what you are feeling right now is not helpful, consider your options, if there is something you can do, do it. Remember fears’ rules are here to scare you or help you which do you often choose. Blog@loveliveholistically.com