30th September 2018

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. Rom 12:3 KJV


Some of the thoughts we have are Ego in origin. Dr Deepak Chopra suggests that the average adult has approximately 60,000 separate thoughts in a 24- hour period. We think the same 60,000 thoughts today that we had yesterday and will have tomorrow.

The Cambridge English Dictionary states that the Ego is your idea of yourself, especially your feelings on your own importance and ability.

According to Freud 1923, P25 – The ego is ‘that part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world’

Freud believed that there are three parts of the human psyche or personality. The id which is primitive and instinctual desires or wishes. Self gratification . The super ego incorporates the values and morals of society which are learnt from ones’ parents and others. The ego is the go between, the id and superego. That of, primitive need for self gratification and consciousness which is judgement, tolerance and control.

You may be asking, why should we talk about the Ego on a blog that deals with the Soul. Well, the ego is a part of you. The ego communicates through your thoughts. This blog will alert you to some of the thoughts you thought were all you, when really, it was the ego talking.

Sometimes you can hear ego talking when you say to yourself ‘I wonder if they liked me? I wonder what they thought of me? Perhaps you hear ‘ if I had a better…....they would think differently about me’.

It is nice to be liked and we all wonder, from time to time, how people view us, however we have to make sure that these thoughts are fleeting ones.

We are aware of Negative self talk, the ego can be is very stable, dropping little negative comments in here and there, however the Ego has its reasons.

Ego says, no you’re not good enough

Ego says, don’t let them get away with talking to you like that. Let them have a piece of your mind (the ego mind)

Ego says you really don’t look the part, stay home.

Ego belief, according to Wayne Dyer is:

I am what I have

I am what I do

I am what people think of me

I am separate from everybody else

I am separate from everything missing from my life.

I am separate from God.

Let’s describe The Ego, so you realise when it is speaking.

We know the Ego sits between (the id) primitive needs and a more moral, tolerant want of the superego. According to Freud the Ego begins to develop at the age of three years old. I propose you consider ego as an immature entity with a big head.

Let’s call him Heady.

Immature Heady sees itself as the big I AM. Heady the Ego is self-absorbed, conceited, an entity that believes it is the labels others place on it. The Ego is self preserving. It will try and keep things how they are. In doing so, its aim is to keep you alive. For Heady, there is no need for change. The Ego has kept you alive thus far and things appear to be working. Heady understands there is no need to change ANYTHING if it’s working, however if the change involves you impressing others, the Ego will be all for that.

Think for a minute about leaving your job and following your passion….Did Heady appear?  What did it say? I can imagine it saying ‘don’t be silly, how you gonna pay the rent?’ Remember, The Ego is ‘what I have’. Starting a new venture may leave it with less than it has. To the Ego, leaving a dental practice to become a black smith (your passion) will hear the Ego shouting ‘What a black smith, instead of a dentist. A dentist is much more known, than a black smith. Remember the Ego is what ‘it’ does for a living and what other people may think of it.

The Ego will keep you where you are in life, as change may take you to a place ‘less than’ where you are at the moment. Do you know anyone who has been in a job for over ten years, they don’t really like going to this place of work, but they will not leave? There may be a myriad of reasons, one may stay at a place of work that they do not like. I propose one reason could be self-esteem. This person may say ‘the job is something I know, it is something I have been doing for a long time.’ Maybe their reason for staying could be ‘I’m comfortable here.’ But you can be assured that Heady the Ego will play a large part in keeping that person in that place of work. Their Ego may say ‘you’ll have to get to know new people if you leave’. Perhaps they will hear ‘ You won’t like the people at your new job, they may not like you.’ Heady may go on to alert them to the fact that, they may find the new job difficult, and people will think they are not as intelligent as they are. There are many different things the Ego will come up with, in-order to keep you where you are, keep you stuck and stagnant. In doing this the Ego will keep you ‘safe’ from any mental upheaval. The Ego shy’s away from anything that may make it come across as inferior to its environment. That is why the Ego lives in your comfort zone. The Ego is here to maintain your current equilibrium. Where do you feel stuck in your life? When was the last time you stayed in or tolerated a situation or person, because ‘Its just how things are’?  Can you see the part Ego plays in your life? What part of your life have you relied on what others may say or think as opposed to your own thoughts on the matter? That was Ego again. I am not suggesting that one should not listen to the Ego? Not at all. My aim is to make you aware of the Egos’ role and part it plays in your life.

As human beings we, according to Freud, have the id (primitive needs) and the super ego, which deals with a more moral aspect of our thoughts. As mentioned above, the Ego sits between the two. One would not feel settled if you didn’t have consistency, it would be rather dull life, if we weren’t silly every now and again. Life would also be dangerous if we didn’t have a moral code. Being aware of where your thoughts originate allows you to live a life with less, doubt, lack, fear and worry. As we have to live with an Ego, the art is learning when to quiet it.

Try this exercise. Think back on your last 24hours, try and find incidents when you acted with Ego. Is it something you said? Something you did? Or maybe something you thought of saying or doing?

If you cannot remember, consider your thoughts for the last 24 hours. Let me know what you found With 60,000.00 separate thoughts going through our mind everyday, some of those thoughts will be Ego in origin. The next time you have a thought, challenge it. Say to yourself, is this really my own thoughts, or do they sound like Heady the Ego?

What is the next issue or problem you have to deal with? What are your main thoughts on the issue? Is it positive or negative? Rational or irrational? Do they have a dependency on what others may say or think? Do you find yourself considering whether to leave or stay in your comfort zone? Ego may be playing a large part in your decision making process.

A person who lives their life based on an Ego mind will find their decisions are made up of what others may say, and have superficial ideals. This person may appear selfish as the world revolves around them, their friendship with you is based on what you can do for them. Who is this in your life? Perhaps its you!

Ego believes it is separate from everything…from source, from other people. It alone exists, so for the ego, you are alone, and you need things and other peoples’ views to validate your existence.  Remember your thoughts of ‘what will this or that person think’ That was Ego. Maybe you have had thoughts of ‘You can’t possible think you can make that change’? You may have wondered why you have been having those ego thoughts? The reason is, the change may turn out to be a failure, then you can only imagine what people are going to say? The Ego also feels that you may lose the things you have. So stay where you are and don’t change anything, ANYTHING. The Ego works on the premise of selfishness.  Your thoughts may be ‘I need to leave this bad relationship’ (Ego… won’t find another partner) other thoughts may be ‘I want to lose weight’ (Ego….It’s going to be hard, you may fail) or perhaps ‘I want to buy another pair of shoes, although I know I shouldn’t as I have bills to pay’ (Ego….But you’ll look good in them) The Ego is superficial, immature, selfish and really a little ‘Stewey’. Would you allow a three year old to run your life? That’s what you do when you allow your Ego to get the better of you. I understand that we don’t act on the every thought that run though our minds. However, some of our actions are based on the mind of a pre-schooler. How many of your friends or family members do you see as little Ego’s running around in adult bodies? Nothing wrong with being a little childish sometimes, but how often does that childish mind-set surface in your life? maybe it is around a certain topic, situation or person! The Ego serves a purpose, it can keep morale high, it can aid us when we feel a little lost, but The Ego also has the ability to have us feeling low, stagnant and hampering after other peoples’ opinion on decisions that should be our own. You are not what you have, do or what other people think of you. You are not out on a limb and separate from the ‘things’ you don’t have in your life. You should be aware that you create the life you want to live, by using moral judgements whilst fulfilling your needs and desires primitive or otherwise.

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